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I believe in approaching life with humor. I mean, there's no point in taking it too seriously, it's not like we're going to get out alive. So step inside and prepare to laugh...

Dude and Dude: Communication is Crucial

Posted By Amoeba on September 3, 2010

“Yep, dude, it sure is.”

“What is, dude?”

“Communication.”

“What?”

Communication!

“You don’t have to yell, dude. Especially about that. It’s so, like, last century.”

“Last century?

“Yeah, dude. Nobody does this commune stuff anymore, not unless they hafta.”

“Dude …”

“We had about twenty of us in an apartment one time, ’cause we were all broke. We sure had a commune-y nation in that place. Especially when the toilet plugged and they hadta shut off the water for four days. No showers or nothin’. Pee-yew. And people used to want to do this kind of thing deliberately?

“Dude …”

“Well, did they?

“Dude, what we have here is a failure to communicate.”

“What, you can’t text me? You lose your cell phone or somethin’?”

No, dudes, that ain’t it.

“[gasp] OC!!”

What we have here is a failure to X-communicate. You should be grateful.

“You don’t mean X as in command-X, um, do you, OC?”

Control-X, du … oops …”

Changing Priorities

Posted By Quilly on September 2, 2010

This time it is different.  I am finally dedicating time to my writing.  I have blocked out three hours of my day.  During those three hours my phone, my blog, and my email do not exist.  I just finished a book study (Courage and Calling) through my church here in Friday Harbor and one of the things we discussed was fear, and allowing fear to hold us back.  While I was contemplating that, and an astounding God revelation that came to me in the form of my answer to a very simple question, Nessa came up with an accountability idea to keep us writing, and a list of tasks to help us on our way.

On Saturday she put up a list of our first week’s assignments.  I did them all in one day, and one of them connected with my book study and electrified me.  Write a list of at least 10 reasons why I haven’t pursued or achieved what I want.

  1. afraid of failure
  2. not smart enough
  3. not a good enough storyteller
  4. unoriginal
  5. no time
  6. not disciplined
  7. afraid of ridicule
  8. don’t know where to start
  9. easily side tracked by time wasters and side issues
  10. afraid of success

Ten out of ten items stemmed from fear. Fear. I moved 1800 miles from home all by myself and made myself a successful new life, then I chucked that life and moved across the ocean with a man I met on the internet.  Fear? That is totally unacceptable.  Never in my life have I ever equated fear with my personality. It has to go.

As for that astounding God revelation that came, the simple question was, if you could be anything you wanted to be this very minute, what would it be?  I answered, as I always answer, “Published author.”  The next question was, when you were a child, what was your dream job for when you grew up?  Again, my answer was, “Published author.”  And the author went on to explain that when he does career counseling with unhappy or conflicted clients, they almost always answer those two questions the same.  The childhood dream never has a chance to grow up and become reality, or be put aside.  It is always and forever cherished as a dream.

It is time to stop cherishing my dream and live it.

Communication is Crucial

Posted By Quilly on September 2, 2010

Businesses rise and fall on the strength of their communication abilities.  The more ways a customer has to reach you — and the more ways you have to reach the customer –the better your chances of making a sale.  So, what do you do if you’re a one or two person operation and field works leaves no one to man the office?  The budget just won’t stretch to another body, not even a minimum wage one to answer the phone.

That seems easy, just get a cell phone, right?  BUT, have you ever tried to do business with someone who kept interrupting you to answer the phone?  Annoying, isn’t it?  How long did you stick around for that?  As for the business person, now instead of paying someone to answer his phone, he’s paying astronomical cell phone bills.

Amoeba has been having some of those issues and he recently started looking into VOIP services.  There are a lot of VOIP services springing up that will allow one to talk over the internet for free. That solves the problem of the astronomical cell phone bills, but how do your land line customers call in?

Believe it or not, I can answer that.  Let me tell you about Toktumi.  Tokumi is a virtual PBX service for small businesses — an internet switchboard talking care of all your business calls.  Pretty cool huh?  Right now Toktumi is offering a 30 day free trial and services start at $14.95 per month, much cheaper than an extra body or the cell phone bill.  (Okay, you will still need a phone, but you won’t need to carry the most expensive plan to cover your minutes.)

Time For TV

Posted By Quilly on September 2, 2010

Now before we moved here Amoeba asked me to research the LocalTV-Satellite choices. He likes to watch a sporting event every now and then. His favorite is Australian Rules Football (“the footy”). He says it is his favorite mostly because he can actually watch the game and doesn’t keep getting interrupted by commercials.

I’m not much of a TV watcher, but lately I have had the most incredible urge to do so. It is kind of weird because for at least 6 years now I have not followed a TV series or turned the tube on for anything but special programs and DVDs. And even that little viewing has pretty much gone by the wayside because I don’t even look at the listings anymore for special programs. That means I haven’t even got any idea what’s on and what might be good to look at.

When we were checking out localtv-satellite.com Amoeba and I discussed the fact that we don’t really watch TV much, but we still decided we wanted to have it — in case the urge ever arose.  Well, it has. The thing is, I don’t know what to do about it.  I can pull up the Direct TV listings, but I am so out of the loop I probably wouldn’t know what programs to choose anyway.  What do you watch and why do you like it?

Business Link

Posted By Quilly on September 2, 2010

I have been asked to put this link in my sidebar: CouponUS.com

If you look for it you will find it there.

Fun With Stencils!

Posted By Quilly on September 2, 2010

Want to add a touch of elegance to your home? Would you like it to look expensive but not be expensive? And would you like it to be super easy to do? SimpleStencil.Com has exactly what you are looking for, and right now you can win $30.00 worth of product free. Keep reading to find out how.

I absolutely love the way stencils look on walls, but I do not have the talent to paint one in place. I figured the only way I would ever have one is if I paid big bucks to an artist. I don’t have any big bucks; in fact, I am kind of short in the department of small bucks. Luckily, Simple Stencil has high quality merchandise for a very affordable price. Even more fortunate, these stencils are super simple to apply! I put one up in just minutes.

Step one — I read the directions. They come with pictures so it was super easy.

Step two — I applied the test stencil they sent me to the wall between my window sill and my whiteboard (I did have to take the whiteboard down, but the window sill stayed in place.)

After I applied the practice stencil it was time for the main event.  The photo below shows you all of the tools and equipment you’ll have to gather to do a quality job.

stencil, rubbing tool (included in kit), and tape

Step Three — Find the center of the area where you’ll be applying your stencil, then tape it to the wall by the top edge only.  Now, walk across the room and look at your stencil.  Is it straight?  Is it perfectly centered?  Make any corrections necessary and check again. 

I live in the Pacific Northwest where the sun is rare, and here it is peeking in my window right where I want to work. I considered being annoyed with it, and then realized it was wonderful. Keep your eye on that strip of light and it will help you gauge exactly how long this project took.

Step Four: Flip your stencil up using the tape as a hinge.  (You do not need to tape it into this position.  I did so only because I couldn’t hold the stencil up and take the photograph.)

back side of stencil

Step Five — carefully peel the backing of the stencil. Do this slowly to make certain none of the stencil adheres to the backing. If the stencil should stick, recover the area with the backing, then even more slowly uncover it, bending the backing a bit more sharply to encourage release.

Step Six — Once the backing is removed hand smooth the stencil onto the wall. The backing is tacky but easily movable.

Step Seven — Using a Popsicle stick, tongue depressor, or the handy-dandy plastic scraper included, firmly rub over the semi-transparent backing. This will help transfer your stencil from the paper to the wall. Rub from the center outward, using the applicator like a squeegee to remove any air bubbles or wrinkles.  Since there is only one of me, I could not photograph the smoothing process, however, I took this close up shot so you could clearly see the stencil pressed against the wall.

Now, lets talk about my wall.  Obviously it is textured.  I wondered how much trouble that would cause me in applying this stencil.  The answer is, none.  The stencil went up easily and is secure.

Step Eight — This step is one I learned while doing the test application. The tape I used to hold the stencil to the wall is much tackier than the stick’em on the semi-transparent stencil sheet. When I was trying to gently and carefully peel the facing off the stencil, I also had to stop and hassle with the tape. To eliminate that issue, just pull the tape free of the wall and tuck it out of the way before you began the peel.

Step Nine — Cautiously peel the semi-transparent backing off the stencil. Work slowly. And watch the letter edges. If they stick to the facing rather than the wall, back up a bit (I love this tacky paper, nothing can slip out of alignment!) and give that piece an extra rub. If it still sticks to the paper, back up again and catch just the merest edge of the letter with your fingernail and hold it to the wall. Once the edge sticks, the remainder will as well.

Step 10 — if you have a large stencil you will want to trim the backing as you peel. I accidentally allowed the tacky backing to touch the applied stencil, and I had to again carefully peel it off because the stencil was perfectly willing to transfer back onto the paper.

backing trimmed at halfway point

Once you have completely removed the semi-transparent facing paper, take your finger (nothing hard or sharp) and gently rub over your stencil securing any loose edges to the wall.

Note the movement of the sunbeam. It took me about 20 minutes to complete this project. I think it looks great.

TheSimpleStencil.Com, has generously provided me with a $30.00 gift certificate for one of my lucky readers.  If you want to be entered in the drawing, visit TheSimpleStencil.Com and tell me what it is that you think would look great on your walls.  You can also check out The  Simple Stencil on Facebook where you’ll receive special offers not available anywhere else.  They’ve got one up now for free product I just may be taking advantage of.  And don’t forget to follow them on Twitter to make certain you receive up to the minute news on sales, specials and secret discounts. For ideas, special promotions and other news, sign up to receive The Simple Stencil newsletter. Their latest one features a project I just may tackle next!

This Product Was a Free Giveaway

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Dude and Dude: Tune In Or Else

Posted By Amoeba on September 2, 2010

“Du-UUUUUUUUUDE!!

Jeez, dude! What is it?”

“Omygawd, dude, it was horrible! Horrible!!

“It must have been, dude. You’re shakin’ like a leaf. What the hell happened? Did ‘World of Warcraft’ crash?”

“Worse.”

“Did you wipe out on your skateboard?”

“Worse!”

“Are you out of w …”

Worse!!

What, then?!?”

“I don’t know if I can tell you, dude! … I was sittin’ in front of the TV, flippin’ channels, duckin’ the commercials – y’know, like normal people do.”

“I’ll let the ‘normal’ go for now. Yeah?”

“Yeah, well, so a show I’m kinda watchin’ goes to a commercial and I hit the clicker. And it won’t click!

“Finally wore it out, didya, dude?”

It ain’t funny, dude! So I go click again. Nothin’. So I clickclickclickclickclickclick. Still nothin’. I’m about to get up to try to find the channel changer on the box when the screen goes blank.

“And then this big dude shows up on that screen. And I mean big. Pecs out to here. And he’s got the bald head goin’, and the three-day scruff, and the shades, and the leathers. The baddest big dude I’ve seen outside a hip-hop club. And he points the finger at me!

” ‘Yo. Dude.’

” ‘How’d you find out who I am?’

” ‘We been watchin’ you. You ain’t been watchin’ our ads.’

” ‘Um, no …’

” ‘You know that’s how we make our bread, right?’

” ‘Man does not live by bread alo …’

” ‘But that’s where we start, turkey. You watch our shows but not our ads, you ain’t payin’ for the shows. That’s stealin’. We don’t like people stealin’ from us.’

” ‘What the hell you call the cable bill, then?’

” ‘Chicken feed. Don’t even pay the cable guy.’

” ‘Fine. I’ll call the cable guy and tell him to take all this stuff away. Feed that to your chickens!’

” ‘We don’t think so, turkey. You been clickin’ for awhile now. A long while. You owe us. Big time.’

“He goes away, and the TV starts playin’ commercials. I try to change stations. Nothin’. I hit the remote’s off button. Nothin’! I pull all the plugs outa the wall! Nothin’!! And the commercials kept gettin’ louder, and louder, and louder …!!

“Wha’d you do then, dude!?!”

“I woke up.”

“You woke … That’s it, dude! No more pizza with anchovies before bed for you! I should wring your scrawny little neck!

“OK, dude, but … one question before I go?”

“What?”

“Did you pay the cable bill?”

============

This post inspired by Kirsten and the George Saunders short story, “My Flamboyant Grandson”. Neither paid Your Friendly Neighborhood Amoeba a dime.

A New Kind of Spam

Posted By Quilly on September 1, 2010

I just got my first text spam from a horrible person named Kirsten who wanted me to buy her new album.  That text message just assured that I would not buy her album even if I wanted it.  When Kirsten sent me that message she stole from me.

I am allowed X number of text messages per month.  Kirsten just wasted one of them.  Since I can’t hunt Kirsten down and shove her phone where she’d have a heck of a time reaching the keys, how do I protect myself from unwanted text messages?

I am not amused.

Dude and Dude: Pastor Tense

Posted By Amoeba on September 1, 2010

“Yo!”

“Dude?”

“I see OC got a letter from the pastor.”

“The pastor?

“He’s not in trouble or nothin’, if that’s what you’re worried about.”

“I ain’t worried, dude. Just curious.”

“‘Bout what?”

“I thought OC spent his time lookin’ down microscopes and stuff. When did he start studyin’ history?”

“He ain’t, dude. And you don’t do that with a pastor, anyways.”

“Whaddaya mean, you don’t, dude? I mean, what does this guy …”

“Or gal …”

“Don’t get your hopes up, dude. What does this guy get up in front of people and do on Sunday mornings, huh?”

“Reads from a book, mostly.”

“Uh huh. A graphic novel?”

“I don’t think so, dude. Try the Bible.”

“Right. The book, by some people. And when’s the last time anybody wrote anythin’ in the book?”

“Um, lessee … about two thousand years ago?”

“Right. Dude, if that’s not the past, then I’m a DeLorean. And who better to learn about the past from than a pastor? So I ask you again. When did OC start studyin’ history?”

“About the time that a dude of my acquaintance inspired him to study the origin and functions of the delete key, dude.”

“Oh … yeah … right …”

Sensational Haiku Wednesday ~ Secrets

Posted By Quilly on August 31, 2010

Join the fun!

Jenn from, You Know … that blog?,
hosts Sensational Haiku Wednesday.
This week’s theme is:

Secrets

Friday Harbor fog

Softly ebbs the fog,
revealing the unknown
like whispered secrets.

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