Spinach & Ham

School lunch on the right side of the table:
Jay: “What is that green stuff?”

Ms. Angel: “Spinach. Eat it and you’ll grow big and strong like Popeye.”

Jay: “Okay.” He lifts his fork, pokes it into the pile of spinach, brings back a huge mound, and nibbles the end of one little strand. His face lights up. “Uhm! Is good!” He munches the entire fork full then turns to Cass. “I is going to be big and stronged like Popeye!”

Cass: “Who Popeye?”

Scott: “I no know.”

And on the left side of the table:

Kelly: “What that green stuff?”

Me, shamelessly stealing from Ms. Angel: “Spinach. Eat it. You’ll grow big and strong like Popeye.”

Kelly: “Who Popeye?”

Me: “A sailor man.”

Kelly pokes the spinach, looks at me, and pokes the spinach again. “Where Popeye?”

Me: “Sailing I suppose.”

Kelly, doubtfully: “He eat spinach?”

Me: “Yes. He loves spinach. It makes his muscles grow big.”

Kelly: “Smells yucky.”

Me: “Tastes great.” I took a strand of his spinach and ate it. “Yum! You taste it.”

Kelly pulls one strand from the pile and watches it swing from his fork. He looks at me and says, “One bite?”

Me: “One. If you don’t like it, you don’t have to eat it.”

Kelly puts the strand of spinach in his mouth. His jaw works twice and he freezes with a look of horror on his face. “Augh!” A retching sound escapes him. He grabs his milk and chugs what remains in the carton. “Bleck!” He shudders again. “Poopy!”

Jay says: “I like it.”

Kelly looks at me. “You not tell me Jay like it.”

Me, wondering why that makes a difference: “Yes, Jay likes it. You want to try again?” I lift up a bit of spinach with his fork.

Kelly recoils. “No! Jay even eat vegtebas!” A gagging sound follows and suddenly Kelly looks even more horrified. He points at the spinach and looks at me. “Is dis a vegtebas?”

“Yes,” I say.

Kelly grabs his throat and falls over on the bench. “Ack. You trying to killed me!”