Cooked!

November 17, 2011

He: “So I’m standing here trying to fix dinner …”

She: “Fix dinner? I didn’t know it was broken.”

He: “Right. How ’bout you give me a break?”

She: “Where?”

He: “Um .. as I was saying. I get a saucepan, open the box, pour the contents of the box into the saucepan, add water … and now the box tells me to stir thoroughly.” Where do I find this thoroughly thingy?”

She: “No clue. I’ve been looking for years. Never found one. Carry on without it. You’ll probably do fine.”

He: “OK, I … dang it!!

She: “What?”

He: “The blamed instructions tell me to bring to boil. No way! I ain’t bringin’ nothin’ noplace! Even if I knew where to find boil any more than I know where to find the thoroughly. That saucepan is on the stove where it belongs, and it’s stayin’ there until it’s done!”

She: “[Sigh] Relax, love. Boil figured out this flaw in the instructions a long time ago. Leave the pan on the stove. Turn on the burner. The boil will come to you. Trust me on this.”

He: “OK. I guess I’ll just keep cookin’.”

She:No!

He:What ‘no’?? You want me to try to put this wet, slimy stuff back in the box? And go hungry??

She: “I want you to cook your dinner. Not you! Are you wearing your suntan lotion?”

He: “In the kitchen?!

She: “In Hawai‘i. Where you’re broiling under the hot sun!”

He: “Not in the kitchen two hours after sunset, I’m not.”

She:Phew! For once, I get a break!

He: “Where?”


Quilly is the pseudonym of Charlene L. Amsden, who lives in the Pacific Northwest. When she is not doing book reviews or creating curriculum literature units, she is working on writing the next great American novel. You may visit her writing blog at http://charlene-amsden.com. To change this standard text, you have to enter some information about your self in the Dashboard -> Users -> Your Profile box.


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