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I’ll Be Quiet Now

When I was a teenager I had a cyst on my vocal cords and though the cyst is long gone my voice was left all husky, smoky and low. It’s not so apparent in real life, but something about phone technology enhances those qualities. At least it used to — I hadn’t had anyone mention it in years.

When I was young and worked in Spokane, Washington in a bowling alley, it was my job to call the league members and remind them of their bowling night. Because of my voice, my phone calls were very popular with the men and quite detested by the woman. I actually had men come to the back office to meet me, and women come to the back office to threaten me for calling their men. The men always left disappointed. The women always left relieved. They were anticipating Marilyn Monroe and found Jane Average.

Last week I was asked to make phone calls for the church and get RSVP’s for our luncheon this afternoon. Without a thought, I left many messages on many answering machines. Today as I was helping clear the tables after the dinner one of the men said to me, “I really liked your phone message. I don’t suppose I could get you to call me again sometime?”

I looked up at his wife in shock. She nodded her head and said, “He played it at least four times before I erased it.”

Okay then. I want off the phone committee.

Quilly is the pseudonym of Charlene L. Amsden, who lives on The Big Island in Hawaii. When she is not hanging out with Amoeba, she is likely teaching or sewing. Or she could be cooking, taking photographs, or even writing. But if she's not doing any of that, she's probably on Facebook or tinkering with her blog.

20 Comments

  2. Ah, my hubby has a low husky voice. Women will gush on and on about his sexy voice, while cutting me a dirty go-to-hell look.

    I hate being on a phone committee. I either sound like a little kid, or accused of a being a suductress!

    I recomend being on a note/letter writting committee, then you can skip the whole voice thing.

  5. Robert — you’ve been hanging with the squirrels too long!

    Jan — thanks to my job at the bowling alley 9and a couple others like it,) I don’t much care to call strangers on the phone. I thought the church calls would be “safe.”

    Nessa — If I had a 1-900 number I wouldn’t make any money. My smoky voice would drip laughter and/or contempt — both of which would recieve a quick dial tone.

    Mumma — maybe I should make hypnosis tapes wives could buy for their men. While swooning over my voice they are also being programmed to willingly take over more househo;d chores.

  11. I’m curious what your students think of your voice. Maybe they’re having teacher fantasies, those naughty students.

  12. My mother in law speaks in a husky whisper all the time (something to do with her vocal chords). We’re used to it now, but she doesn’t half get some funny looks when you’re out with her.

  13. Jenn — just one of those weeks

    Dabich — ahh, I didn’t think you’d noticed …

    Matt — I don’t talk to my students on the phone. That smoky effect only comes through electronically. However, most of my students yhink I sing like an angel. I suspect the few that don’t think I sing like an angel have innate musical talent.

    Bazza — I am lucky — most of the time I still have my full, strong voice, although if I get a cold it is the first thing to go and the last thing to recover.

  14. Very interesting. I recently had an uncle who said he always liked my voice. Now that he is losing his sight, he said he likes it even more.

    My pronounciation has always been a little off due to my hearing loss….guys always thought I was from another part of the country. I did not realize it until uears later that is why they asked me.

  15. I’ve always wanted a smokey low voice. I have to tape the meetings I keep minutes for and the playback creeps me out. I sound like Minnie Mouse.

  16. voices like yours are sexy..of course he loved it. no getting off the phone committee, instead feel good that they love your voice..

    and can you pls call Joe for me and leave a sexy message from me?
    just let me know and i’ll email you his number np..

    🙂

  17. Lori — that cracked me up — ll of you, clueless. Too funny.

    Kat — I suppose I should consider myself lucky. Here I am complaining about being perceived as sexy ….

    Chana — nope — requests like that are why I’m complaining. If I vamp him, I should get to keep him.

  18. haha, shoot you should play that one up to the hilt, what fun do we get anyway…….if not taking advantage when we can. Oh well…….hey you could get a job, calling guys……oh, someone already does that…….2.99 a minute. Just kidding, don’t hit me Quill…..

  20. that is so…almost creepy.
    That dude and infront of his wife! *shakes head*
    I have to admit I am a sucker for deep voices too …
    whiskey voices 🙂

    I am not coming on to you though, dear miss Quilly.

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