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Out Like a Light



He went to bed.

She went into the bathroom to brush her teeth; then she checked her email one last time and, finding none, reached up and snapped off the goose-necked lamp above her desk.  Suddenly it was dark.  Very dark.  She turned in her swivel chair and stood.  Her foot encountered the waste basket.  She stepped around it and held her arms out.

She knew she was heading roughly in the direction of the bedroom, and she expected to encounter wall with at least one of her hands.  The wall would guide her, she thought — but she seemed to be walking awfully far, shouldn’t the wall have been clos – BONK!

Dancing yellow stars filled her vision.  Surprisingly, they gave off no light.  Even so, her path was suddenly illuminated with understanding.  She wobbled into the bedroom and climbed into bed.  She climbed clear across the bed and put her hand on his chest, curling her fingers into the hair there.  She said:  “Did you hear that thump?”

He covered her hand with his (pressing tight so she couldn’t pull) and quoted a bit of an old Bill Cosby routine in which Bill says his toes were complaining, “Turn the lights on, I’m not going through this again.”

She said:  “When I go to bed first, I leave a light on for you.”

He grunted (his way of saying, “Oh, I never thought of that.”)  Out loud he asked, “So whadya hit?”

She said, “I smacked my face on the wall between the bedroom and the bathroom.  I had my arms out, feeling for the wall, but one arm went into the bathroom and one arm went into the bedroom and my face bounced off the wall between.”

He was very still and didn’t answer.  She couldn’t believe he’d gone to sleep!  And then she felt a quiver under her fingers, the bed began to shake, and he burst out laughing.

She tried to act indignant, but her giggles spoiled it.

He said, “No one but you!”

She said, “Anyone could have an accident like that!”

He said, “Oh, love, no they couldn’t.  You have a very special talent.”

She queried, “I am special?”

He said, “Yes.   Special bus!”

She said, “Do you ever wonder how you got stuck with me?”

He said, “I’m just lucky, I guess.”

34 Comments

  3. Jientje — you really think this is OC and I? Surely there are no two people this silly.

    Thom — No. But there’s one by the bed ….

  4. well, your ‘fictional’ personae are witty and hilarious and i have no reason to doubt they are written after real people you are very closely acquainted to.

  11. Bill Cosby:

    “Mind and body don’t get along at all. It is the mind that says to the body, or to the hand, Don’t turn that light on! when you get up in the middle of the night and it’s pitch black. The hand says What? Don’t turn that light on! You should have more sense than that! But the mind is really … egotistical. I know my way around this house! Don’t turn the light on!

    “Meanwhile the nose is saying No. Turn the light on. Turn the light on, will you please? I’m not going through this again!”

    :*

  13. Me thinks you were too quick to say it wasn’t you. The image is even funnier if its you. We leave the bathroom light on and it gives just enough light to the bedroom .

  14. I actually cried with laughter just now. Your poor face though, glad you didn’t get too hurt.

    By the way, I once busted my lip walking into my bed post doing the same exact thing.

  16. Oh Quilly, sometimes your stories can bring tears to Reba’s eyes. She’s such a sentimental sap. You stories like this also bring hope to my heart. Such love, such wonderful connection.

  19. Mary — not to my nose, but yes, even I laughed.

    Betty — laughter eases pain.

    Melli — that means my story was part of your exercise routine! Cool!

    Thom — did you read the story and note how clumsy I am? Do you really think I should be allowed to walk around carrying lit candles?

    Lisa — our house is free standing, and surrounded by both yard and privacy hedge on all four sides.

    Love — yep, that was indeed what HE was mumbling while SHE was counting stars.

    Nessa — if you think bashing one’s face into a wall is sweet, I’d just as soon not know what you consider painful!

    Dr. John — reread carefully. I never said it wasn’t me. And how does the bathroom light get turned off, then?

    SN — HE and SHE both laughed until they cried, too.

    Brooke — ‘fraid so.

    Alice — strange — SHE smacks her face into a wall, HE laughs until he cries, yet the story is, indeed, very romantic.

    Mumma — you rate high points for compassion. Thank you.

    Jeff — don’t feel bad, SHE laughed just as hard and it was her nose!

  21. Oh it was you? ROFLMAO never mind. Perhaps we should send you to the Helen Keller School for the Deaf and Blind? Or maybe to the NASCAR School of Driving? or to the Love Boat School of Standing While Waves are High, or to Home Depot School of learning how to make a rope go from the Living Room to the Bedroom for you to hold on to? Take your pick

  23. Gattina — our lease forbids pets!

    Thom — The NASCAR School of Driving! Yay! Are you paying?

    Bazza — that’s it. Hands down you win the VERY BEST COMMENT OF THE WEEK award (which btw, doesn’t exist). I love this comment.

  27. Having known you since before you were born I can attest to the fact that nothing much has changed over the past many years. You remain a clutz……outrageously funny…..and I am not only lucky to know you but to own you as mine. XOXOOXOXO C

  28. Shelly — if I wasn’t up to being laughed it, I wouldn’t have posted it.

    Mar — but with nightlights look at all the laughter that would have been missed!

    Raven — I am glad it brought you joy.

    Caryl — you are my greatest fan. I love you, sis!

  29. Awww, I like this story.
    I hope your face has recovered from that BONK!
    There’s an old story that I need to ask my mom about.
    I remember it had to do with one of my great aunts or uncles doing that same thing. They bonked their nose while trying to feel for the wall. Your post reminded of that story, so I must ask Mom about it.

  31. JD — I’d like to hear that story, and my face has recovered as well as it ever will.

    Thom — but you said, “We should send you –“, which implies a giving. Yes? However, I am not all that certain Amoeba (OC) would want my tendency to speed encouraged.

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