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A Typical After Dinner Conversation

She, sitting down, looks at her legs stretched out in front of her.  “Look!”  She cries and points at a spot on her shin.  “There’s a hole in my leg!”

He looks.  “Huh,” he says.

“Huh!?”  She exclaims.  “What do you mean, huh?  There’s a hole in my leg!”

He shrugs and says, “Looks like a chicken pox scar to me.”

“I’ve never seen it before!”  She says.  “I have had these legs for fifty years and I shave them at least once a week — mostly — and I have never seen that hole before.”

He shakes his head.  “Okay then.  Maybe it’s a skin cramp.  Look for it tomorrow and see if it’s still there.”

She drops her chin and gives him “one of those” looks.  “A skin cramp?”  She queries skeptically.

Again he shrugs.  “They happen.  The skin gets a little stressed and —”

“It’s not a skin cramp!”  She interrupts. “It’s not sore or anything.”

He says, “A small skin cramp wouldn’t necessarily hurt.  Just give it a rest and check it again tomorr-”

“You don’t seem very concerned,” she accuses.

“Oh, I’m getting there,” he assures her.

She stares at him.  He gazes back innocently.

~*~

“There. Is. A. Hole. In. My. Leg.” She says very slowly and very clearly.

He shakes his head.  “It’s not a hole.”

“What do you mean it’s not a hole?!”  She points.  “I can see it!”

“It’s not a hole.”  He repeats.  “It’s a depression.  And don’t exaggerate.  It isn’t big enough to hold the sea.”

“My leg is not depressed,” she answers. “And it’s obvious you aren’t going to take this seriously.”

“I don’t think you’d like it if I took your leg to Sirius,” he says.

She shakes her head.  “Maybe a tranquilizer will help.”

“No!”  He says.  “You can’t have a tranquilizer if you’re already depressed!”

“Oh don’t worry,” she answers.  ” I don’t want it for me.”

He stares at her.  She gazes back innocently.

43 Comments

    1. Thom — don’t you think it would be just a little bit over the top to go to the doctor about a 45 year old chicken pox scar?

  3. I’ve got to agree with OC on one thing. I’ve always thought it was overly dramatic to refer to a sunken in spot or even a small wound as a “hole”. Unless you can see daylight through it, it’s not a hole. Here’s wishing you don’t have any of those.

    Lisa’s last blog post..Hearts and Lace

  4. Men can be so unsympathetic. 45 year old chicken pox scars need to be aired now and again, ooohed over and aaaaahed and diagnosed and cured with a huge great big hug!
    Don’t they know that?
    It would make it all better then.

  5. I love how the conversation took a totally different route at the end. There never seems to be a dull moment in your hosehold does it? Hope your hole/depression is only a dent today.

    Church Lady’s last blog post..Baby Goslings

    1. Church Lady — Amoeba is a scientist. He has a wonderful sense of humor but sometimes he’s a little slow about catching on to whether or not I’ve slipped from serious into silly. The conversation changed to silly when it finally dawned on him that I really wasn’t concerned about that tiny little dent on my shin.

  8. I see you guys have about the same exciting after dinner conversations as we do. 🙂
    Usually we are so worn out from his parents we just sit and stare wondering what next.
    I guess you didn’t have to have your leg amputated? 😉

    amberstar’s last blog post..Cat funnies

    1. Amber — Amoeba was worn out and I was headed for silly to perk him up and cheer him up. I’m considerate like that. The verdict is still out on the leg, but chances are I’ll learn to live with the dent.

  9. Men. They just don’t take these things seriously!

    Love the puns — no wonder you guys do Punny Monday. And I love the twist at the end. 🙂

    It is funny how things seem to appear on our skin that we never noticed before as we get older.

    Barbara H.’s last blog post..Friday’s Fave Five

    1. Barbara — OC is so full of puns they spill out of him 24/7. Sometimes I follow. Sometimes I wrinkle my nose, tilt my head and say, “Huh?” I guess that makes us even because sometimes he’s a little slow catching on to my pretend histrionics.

      And I’m not sure I’d label this sudden change in my skin “funny”! I never had acne as a child, but currently always seem to have at least one big red blotch coming or going on my face. And I’m not too thrilled with the new lines on my face — or the whiskers!

  10. Such fun. I kept seeing a hole in your leg. One you could put a pencil through. I thought that was amazing.
    OC seemed to think it was everyday stuff.
    At least you don’t sit in silence.

  11. Dr. John — perhaps — only perhaps, mind you — I do exaggerate just a little. I still don’t think that’s any reason for Amoeba to disregard life threatening situations like 45 year old chicken pox scars, do you?

    1. Lady — what is typical for us may not be true for others. I guess it depends on their nonsense quotient. Ours is high.

      1. Looking great. But this was one hell of a job.Painting , moving furniture, rearranging furniture and Spring cleaning in just .. what, two days? I don’t think there is one muscle in my body that does not ache right now! I’m exhausted!
        Tomorrow I’m finally going to get a chance to play with my camera!! Yaay!
        I want to get OUT of here now!!! And PLAY!!!

        Jientje’s last blog post..Friday’s Fave Five, What a Week!!

  16. They made a movie about your leg?

    Ohhhh, goodie. Hope they can get Kevin Bacon and Reba to star in it.

  18. This dialog sounds as if it took place here in my living room , lol ! Only I have an excuse, if I had a hole in my leg I would know from what it comes ! We have a snail invasion ! you should look at my Writer’s cramps.

    Gattina’s last blog post..

  20. Now that’s the kind of conversation i like to have. You do realise that there was subtle therapy in his approach. Often the best cure for a leg problem like this is to pull it 😉

    Anthony North’s last blog post..TONY ON INFORMATION

    1. Tony — your comment put a big smile on my face and made Amoeba laugh out loud. Excellent rejoinder. You can participate in our conversations anytime!

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