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Leafing Reality

This morning She woke from a dream to find him sleeping quite peacefully.  She thought about smacking him one — with her fist.  Her violent thoughts must have somehow communicated to him, because He opened his eyes and regarded her warily.  “Yes?” He queried.

“I just dreamed that we went to a fancy restaurant.  I was dressed up very nicely.  We parked in the parking lot and rode the elevator up, up, up to the restaurant.  When we stepped out of the elevator, you approached the hostess and I stepped into the ladies room.  When I came out of the ladies room you were nowhere in sight.  I approached the Hostess.  She said we didn’t have reservations and therefore couldn’t be seated, and that you’d left.  I knew you didn’t go far.  I waited in the lobby.  I waited a half an hour.  Then I went to the parking lot.  The car was there so I waited another half an hour.  I tried calling home a couple of times.  You didn’t answer the phone.  Finally I drove home and found you sound asleep in bed.”  She poked him in the chest — the real him, not the dream him —  “Explain yourself,” She demanded.

He said, “I was tired?”

She said, “Why did you just leave me there?”

He said, “Well, I thought you were a tree.”

She rolled her eyes and walked away.

LATER:

She said, “You are very big on taking responsibility for your actions, right?”

“Yes?” He answered warily.

“Then why is it,” She demanded, “that you will not take responsibility for your behavior in my dream?”

He said, in ringing, official tones, “Because I have declared that I do not have to and, since I have declared it, it is so.  So there.”

She said, “Wait, just a minute, this needs some adjustment.” She took his right hand and inserted it in the lapel of his shirt then stepped back. “Perfect!  Now, say that again — you know, the ‘because I said so stuff’.”

He removed his hand from his lapel.  “That’s pretty last century don’t you think?”

She said, “So was your declaration!”

He said, “Don’t blame me, this is your dream.”

“Hello?”  She said.  “We’re awake now!”

He just smirked at her.

22 Comments

  3. Hmmm…you mean we are allowed to hold them accountable for the dumb stuff “they” do in “our” dreams? Yowza…my poor hubby 😉

  4. “Because I thought you were a tree.”
    LOL
    I am SO going to borrow that the next time I don’t know how to answer someone.

    You two are something special—together, even more so.

    1. Susan — instant replay — which should clarify the pun and explain the post title:

      “Why did you leave me?”

      “Because I thought you were a tree.”

    1. LOL! Linda I so wish I’d have thought of that! When I read your comment to Amoeba he laughed – -and didn’t even care that I interrupted the ballgame!

      1. Bill — it is one of Amoeba’s favorite responses whenever anyone uses the word “leave”, but Linda (the one who is not Lidna) has given me the perfect comeback!

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