Compassion Free
(Back ground info: She is sporting an injury. A doctor has seen it and claims it’s not life threatening, but it is certainly uncomfortable.)
~*~
Compassion Free
He stowed things in his back pack as he prepared to leave for work.
She leaned over the back of the couch and handed him his lunch. As He buckled his backpack closed She queried, “Aren’t you supposed to be my big brave hero?”
He froze and stared at her.
“Well?” She prompted.
His gaze quickly scanned the living room in search of a threat. He approached her slowly.
She held out her hands and tipped her head in an I’m waiting gesture.
His clasped her shoulders and looked her up and down. Once again He scanned the room. Finally He asked, “What do you need?”
She grinned at him. “What’s the matter? Afraid to commit?”
He answered, “Let’s just say I know you. What’s up?”
She said, “You are my Hero. You are supposed to protect me and keep me safe from all harm, yet just now when I handed you your lunch, the couch attacked me and you did nothing!”
Oh,” he said. He let go of her shoulders and turned to the coat closest.
“Oh?” She repeated. “Just ‘oh’? The couch blatantly smacked me right on my owie and you aren’t even going to defend me?”
He shrugged into his windbreaker, then turned to face her. “I’m sorry,” he said, “But I haven’t yet found a way to protect you from yourself.”
“Ack!” She put her hands on her hips. “And just what is that supposed to mean?”
He grinned at her — grinned! — and said, “I think you know what I mean.”
“You’re right,” She said. “I do know you’re mean!”
“Yes, dear.” He walked over and kissed her on the cheek. “I’m going to work now. Do try and get along with the furniture while I’m gone.”
20 Comments
That was an interesting post! 🙂
Beth — these conversations are staples on my blog. Some of my readers hold the belief that Amoeba and I really talk to each other like this. 😉
Reminds me of the time when my boy was little and said “the wall bent my finger back.” I just love when inanimate objects are responsible for things!
Linda — so they’ve fooled you into thinking they’re inanimate, too. Ha. At least your son knows the truth.
it’s the innate hostility of inanimate objects, i tell you, and men have signed truce with most of them
Polona — I know that’s the truth. He watched the couch attack — I swear She didn’t provoke it — and He did nothing!
Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat ?? Your Stories are not taken from real life episodes. Hmm !!!!!!
Bill — a person could hurt himself jumping to conclusions. I said that people think they are true, I didn’t qualify whether or not those thoughts were right or wrong.
Pffft…let’s hear it for the couch I say LOL Maybe your right owie should slap back ya think? LOL
Thom — didn’t you read this?! She can’t slap the couch back. He says She has to get along with it. Notice He did not tell the couch it had to get along with her!
That’s because He expected the couch to get the message without being told. Silence is assent, after all …
[ducks]
Oh. thank you for the clarification. She wasn’t silent therefore She didn’t agree. Now She knows exactly how to proceed.
[Mallards]
pffft…who says silence is golden. I still would slap back myself
Aaawww, poor couch. Well, last hired, first fired…
hmmph. Hero’s just aren’t what they used to be. That couch should have been slayed. Of course, the result of that would be sitting on the floor.
Wishing you a speedy recovery. Furniture can be dangerous and tricky. We need heroes to fight them off.
Ut-oh…. couch revenge… I feel it coming!
This reminds me of when the kids would fall down (and only be a little bit hurt) so we would ask them if they hurt the floor!
Poor you…I am trying my best to get along with my couch at least during the world cup games …
When my kids were younger and would yell at inanimate objects that didn’t cooperate with them, I would remind them that they don’t respond to voice commands. But some do these days.
Sorry about your owie!
Comments are closed.