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Changing Priorities

This time it is different.  I am finally dedicating time to my writing.  I have blocked out three hours of my day.  During those three hours my phone, my blog, and my email do not exist.  I just finished a book study (Courage and Calling) through my church here in Friday Harbor and one of the things we discussed was fear, and allowing fear to hold us back.  While I was contemplating that, and an astounding God revelation that came to me in the form of my answer to a very simple question, Nessa came up with an accountability idea to keep us writing, and a list of tasks to help us on our way.

On Saturday she put up a list of our first week’s assignments.  I did them all in one day, and one of them connected with my book study and electrified me.  Write a list of at least 10 reasons why I haven’t pursued or achieved what I want.

  1. afraid of failure
  2. not smart enough
  3. not a good enough storyteller
  4. unoriginal
  5. no time
  6. not disciplined
  7. afraid of ridicule
  8. don’t know where to start
  9. easily side tracked by time wasters and side issues
  10. afraid of success

Ten out of ten items stemmed from fear. Fear. I moved 1800 miles from home all by myself and made myself a successful new life, then I chucked that life and moved across the ocean with a man I met on the internet.  Fear? That is totally unacceptable.  Never in my life have I ever equated fear with my personality. It has to go.

As for that astounding God revelation that came, the simple question was, if you could be anything you wanted to be this very minute, what would it be?  I answered, as I always answer, “Published author.”  The next question was, when you were a child, what was your dream job for when you grew up?  Again, my answer was, “Published author.”  And the author went on to explain that when he does career counseling with unhappy or conflicted clients, they almost always answer those two questions the same.  The childhood dream never has a chance to grow up and become reality, or be put aside.  It is always and forever cherished as a dream.

It is time to stop cherishing my dream and live it.

26 Comments

  1. I wish you all the success in the world with this. I do hope one day soon you become a published author. 🙂 Keep up the good work 🙂

  3. Get to it. I’m looking forward to going to my bookstore and seeing the Quilly display and standing back and saying to whoever is around, “Ah, that Quilly! Did you know she lives on an island. Oh, yeah, good friends. With a scientist! I know!”

  5. Hey, I would be happy putting an hour aside for writing! Good luck.

    If it makes you feel better, the reason I started reading your blog was because I loved your stories about your students and of course, The Grownup’s Wanted Us Dead, you are definitely a good storyteller.

  7. Fortunately my answer to those questions is and always was “be a Mom!” No unrealized dreams of careers for me. This must have been the summer churches addressed fear though — my pastor did a nine week Summer Series on it with his sermons. I love to listen to him, but I was very happy that very little of it applied to me. A few little truths here and there.

    I will be praying that you realize your dream and conquer those fears – because for those of us who READ you, we knOw you will find success. And WHEN you are published… even if you write OUT of my genre… I will still BUY you – and probably read you… just cuz I LOVE you!

  10. Oh, that sounds eerily familiar! {Well except the moving away and marrying a guy on the internet part.} 🙂

    Good for you! I hope you obtain your goal. If I’d written your list, I’d have to remind me, “Nothing good happens overnight.”

    But I just KNOW you’ll be fine! Write on!

  12. .
    ‘ray for you, Quilly! Do you know that accountant mentality (some say aptitude) is to make lists put things in a place where they can find them. You might like accounting if you get to like making lists. 🙂

    I hope you do go far with your writing. I have temporarily stopped mine before I ever got a good start. Two books and a memoir or two are were on my list.
    I won’t promise to read your book. I am doing that now and it is slow going.
    ..

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