John 15:12
My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you.
John 15:12 (NIV)
Our Lord doesn’t ask for little things. Luckily he knows we can’t live up to his standards (and quite often we can’t live up to our own). Jesus already saved the world. That is not our job. Our job is to provide light in the darkness. We provide that light by loving one another.
It sounds easy, but some people are harder to love than others. Every year I get one or two in my classroom who I have to hand to the Lord on a daily — if not hourly — basis. I often have to pray for the strength to respond in love. Sometimes I have to pray for forgiveness because responding in anger felt so much better — momentarily.
After ten years of teaching I can tell you for a fact, responding to an angry child with your own anger will not defuse the situation or provide a valuable role model for future interactions. Children often do not know how to express their emotions. Frustrations, need, disappointment, et al, are often expressed through anger — which only compounds their effect.
The most effective way to defuse anger is to meet it with love. Note, I did not say it was the easiest way. In the beginning the greatest amount of character building will be to the one expressing love, not the one receiving it.
Does expressing love mean refraining from punishment? No, it does not. But it does mean that — no matter how you feel personally — the punishment must be fair. At all times the dignity of the angry person must be preserved. This is where it is hardest because human nature leads us to counter attack, moving ourselves from a defensive to an offensive position.
In other words, it is not human nature to express sacrificial love, and sacrificial love is exactly what Jesus is asking us for. Jesus went to the cross for us. In return for the expulsion of our sins Jesus left the command, love.
The dictionary defines love with these words: to cherish; to feel tenderness toward; to express devotion to; unselfish concern for another individual. In other words, treat people as you would have them treat you.
St. Francis of Assissi put it this way:
Lord, make me an instrument of your peace.
Where there is hatred, let me sew love;
Where there is injury, pardon;
Where there is doubt, faith;
Where there is despair, hope;
Where there is darkness, light;
Where there is sadness, joy.
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