I have been so homesick I spent the day looking through photographs of Idaho. This is part of the Clearwater River in Ada County, Idaho. Some of my closest moments with God have been spent with fishing pole in hand right here on this river.

“Art is a collaboration between God and the artist, and the less the artist does the better.”
Andre Gide

I was driving to work one morning minding my own worrisome business when I suddenly found myself stalled by road construction. I could not move. There were cars in front of me, cars behind me and cars to the right of me. To my left was a cement meridian, two empty lanes for west bound traffic, and a north-south side road that formed a T intersection.

Barreling down that road was an 18-wheeler.

Time stalled. My attention focused solely on that rig. It wasn’t going to stop. For a brief eternity my gaze locked with the truck driver’s. I could tell that we both knew I was going to die.

As he shot into the intersection my breath caught. I closed my eyes and tightened my grip on the steering wheel. I thought of my family; my students who weren’t going to have a teacher that day; my friends; and my God.

When was the last time I’d given God a thought? What part of my life held any eternal value? When I stood before him what could I possibly say to defend the life I’d lived?

Before despair could claim me I heard my soul cry out, “Father, I know I’m not ready, but I’m coming home. Please, please, forgive me.”

Instantly my car filled up with so much love and so much peace and so much joy it overflowed. I was held fast in the serene embrace of God.

Slowly the intensity faded. Was I alive? I hadn’t heard a crash. I felt no pain.

This world filtered back to me one sense at a time. My hands were clutching the steering wheel. The radio was playing. I could feel sunshine on my face. I opened my eyes. There, outside my driver’s window was the grill of the semi, just a hair-span from my door. On the grill of the truck was a dead fly. I could see the veins in its iridescent wings.

I was alive. Alive in a way I had never been before. The joy and the peace of God still reside within me today, and the next time I find myself standing before the throne of God, I will still be unworthy, but I will remember the mercy the Lord has already showered upon this disobedient child whom he loves.

I joined First United Methodist Church, took up a youth ministry program and fulfilled the necessary steps to become a certified lay speaker. Contrary to my beliefs when I lived outside God’s Spirit-filled family, I am now blessed with more friends, more security and less stress than I’ve ever had before. I stand with confidence on the promises of God. You can, too.

If you have any questions, please feel free to email me, the link is in my profile.

Blessings! And remember, Jesus loves you.

Today I recieved this anonymous letter questioning my faith:

Anonymous said…

obedientone,

I read your comments on another blog and wanted to ask you some questions. You can delete this comment if you don’t approve of it being here.

I find it interesting that you would degrade others for claiming to live free from sin yet your user name is “obedientone”.

Do you not realize that committing sin is disobedience?

Can you not believe that there are people who “go and sin no more” and “who need NO repentance”?

When the Bible promises that NO temptation will be too hard (I Cor. 10:13) and that we can do all things through Christ (Phil 4:13) what do you think that really means?

Do you think it means we can do everything except live holy?

Do you think that Jesus came and died that awful death just so the world would continue to sin just like they always had?

If so, his sacrifice was no better than the sacrifice of bulls and goats.

You might think this is a preposterous idea but Jesus didn’t give his life just so we could be forgiven every day for the rest of our lives.

No, Jesus will save you FROM sin. But only if you let him.

Anonymous —

Please note that I posted on your blog with my name and profile in full view. Why did you post anonymously? Are you ashamed of your beliefs in the Lord?

Your statement in your blog was that you and the other members of your congregation were sin free and had not committed any sins in years. I still stand convinced that as living people on earth that is a physical impossibility.

God did say to “Go and sin no more.” However, if we were capable of refraining from all sin, it would not have been necessary for Jesus to die for us in the first place. I did not denegrate anyone for claiming to be free of sin. I just asked them how they managed to stay so holy and still be among the living.

I make mistakes. I say inappropriate things. I hurt people’s feelings. I make foolish, thoughtless decisions. I let people down. I am certain I disappoint God on a daily basis — like I must have disappointed Him when I didn’t make myself clear on your blog. Yes, I call myself obedientone — but it is to remind myself what I strive for. In no way do I consider myself holy and above sin. I have been adopted into the family of God through Jesus, but I am not divine.

I do consider myself saved. I consider myself washed in the blood of Jesus, my Savior and God’s Son and Sacrifical Lamb. I am sanctified by and through Christ Jesus only. I do not and will never claim salvation by my own works or deeds, and I have Biblical cause to fear for the soul of anyone who does.

Charlene <-- a disciple of Christ, but not his equal.

Are you looking for a daily devotional? Check out HeartLight . They have many wonderful features, including a Bible Search tool. I also downloaded Paper Quote, which provides a daily scripture and graphic for my desktop, and a revolving scripture screensaver.

Yesterday afternoon we had a potluck feastival to say good bye to our Pastor, Laszlo, and his wife, Sheryl. In accordance with United Methodist itinerant pastoral tradition, they have been transfered to Arizona.

This is good for Pastor because he has completed his mission here with us (creating unity between two merging congregations) and he is now free to persue a new ministry and enhance his God given gifts and talents. This is good for Sherry because she is back home, close to her family and able to see them whenever she wishes. This is good for me because I will be exposed to the thoughts, ideas and guidance of a new pastor so I, too, will grow spiritually.

Yet, beneath the blessing of this move is an extreme sadness. For every new beginning there must be an ending. I now have an empty space in my daily life. Sherry and I shared a mutual concern for each other’s well being. We shared our thoughts, ideas, opinions, joys, sorrows, irritations — and silliness. My ears will miss her laughter.

Although our parting isn’t permanent and our friendship is not ending, it will have to change to meet our new circumstances. Solomon points out that there is a time for everything. He even explains that not all things seem good, and it is not for us to understand the workings of God. In Ecclesiastes 1:12 Solomon explains, “There is nothing better for [us] then to be happy and do good while [we] live.” (my paraphrase)

It is hard to be happy while mouring a loss, but today I decided to rejoice in the fact that I have this friend to grieve over. Even if for some reason we never meet again, Sherry has greatly enriched my life. That is a priceless gift well worth celebrating.

Everyday that God gives us is a potluck feastival of new beginnings. I will look forward to them, and let the endings take care of themselves.

During my early ‘net travels I met a gentleman from Wales who has the same last name as I. We compared relatives and found our great-great-great-grandfathers were brothers.

And my good friend for the past eight years, the one person in this world who probably knows me better than some members of my own family, has never met me in person. Our friendship is wholly net.

Look how far technology has brought mankind from Adam and Eve — yet we haven’t changed at all. I can’t help but wonder — can we truly claim to have progressed?

The Lord God sent him out of the garden to till the soil from which he was taken. So He drove out the man; and He placed cherubim at the east of the garden of Eden, and a flaming sword which turned every way, to guard the way to the tree of life. –Genesis3:23-24

Unless we know the difference between flowers and weeds, we are not fit to take care of a garden. It is not enough to have truth planted in our minds, we must labor to keep the ground clear of thorns and briars, follies and perversities, which have a wicked propensity to choke the word of life. –Clyde Francis Lytle

What sins do you nurture? One of mine is sloth. I procrastinate. “Later” is my favorite word. I don’t imagine God is fond of it.

I try not to procrastinate with my Bible Study. I have a set time — a daily appointment to study God’s word. The Word of God is a powerful yet subtle weedkiller. It slowly chokes out the things that come between us and God. Try it, you’ll see.